Whoever said that beauty is skin deep has never experienced acne. If they had, they would know that how you look on the outside makes a big impact on how you feel inside.
While acne is a skin disorder, its effects extend way below the surface. Studies conducted on high school students in Brazil, adult acne sufferers in the UK, university-age students in Singapore, and acne patients in Australia all same the thing: this common, non-lethal skin problem that some people dismiss as trivial has far-reaching consequences to one’s quality of life and emotional wellbeing.
People who have suffered from acne stand testament to the fact. The severity of a breakout can determine the decision to go out or stay at home, to sign up for a school club or sit it out, to make a new friend or stay silent. If there is no improvement in skin condition over time, these little choices add up over time and lead us to a life that no one would want for themselves.
There are a lot of insidious ways that acne can take over our life, so you have to catch yourself before it’s too late.
You know acne is affecting your social life if you...
Keep flaking out
If you’ve ever found yourself making lame excuses to avoid attending events where you cannot hide your acne, we feel you. Sometimes the fear of missing out is much better than the fear of being judged for the condition of your skin. You might have felt like you’d be so self-conscious you’d just ruin the fun, so might as well stay home...right?
It’s valid for you to feel this way. You can flake out on an event or two, but what’s dangerous is if it becomes a habit. Adolescence is the time when you rely on your peer group for support and validation. If you’re not out there with them, experiencing things and building memories together, you’re losing a crucial part of this time in your life. You flake out too often and you isolate yourself from the people who care for you.
Feel scared about taking risks
Another consequence of the constant flaking out is that the mindset that escaping from uncomfortable situations is the best option you have. If you start applying this thought process to every situation, you’re not just going to miss out on bonding time with your friends, you’re going to miss out on valuable opportunities to grow and learn.
Studies show that people who suffer from acne would rather not play a sport, talk in front of an audience, or join a club. All these decisions stem from the fear of being judged, teased, or laughed at for our skin. The safety we feel as we nestle deep within our comfort zone comes at a price. We are more afraid to take risks, and without risks, there’s not much you can learn.
Putting yourself out there and doing something new is not easy. It takes a lot of courage to break free from the fear of getting ridiculed for acne--especially because there is always a chance it will happen. Whether it’s as overt as a playful jab about your pimple or as covert as a lingering look at the zit on your chin, you’re always going to have to steel yourself for the hurt and embarrassment you will feel.
But the trade-off is that you actually get to do things you want to do! When you do learn a new skill or make a new friend, you’ll realize that the risk is worth it.
Always think that someone is making fun of you
It’s the small things, like when the eyes of the person you’re talking to lingers on that zit or when a family member makes a passing remark about your first breakout. The heightened self-consciousness throws every bump, scar, or discoloration in high relief and makes you think that acne is all anyone sees when they look at you.
In large part, popular media and social media are to blame. The airbrushed ads and curated feeds would make anyone believe that zits are not normal, when in fact, they are. We start to think that there is something wrong with us, even when over 85% of people in the same age group have it.
Compound that with the many misconceptions about acne pathogenesis. Some people take acne as a sign of poor hygiene and unhealthy habits. Others think that it’s infectious. It can be extremely damaging to hear that from someone else, but it’s even worse if you think that way yourself.
This is the jump off point for thoughts like “I’m dirty”, “I’m disgusting”, and “No one’s going to like me because I look like this”. This mindset, if repeated often enough, will extend past the realm of physical appearance, bleeding into other aspects of our life. Because we feel ugly, we feel undeserving of love. Because we feel undeserving of love, there’s not much motivation to connect with others.
Resign yourself to lifetime singlehood
Adolescence is the time our minds and bodies become sexually mature. The hyper awareness we have towards people we are attracted to is only matched by the hyper awareness we have about how we look and how we act around them.
Unfortunately, acne does nothing to help the situation. It makes us feel embarrassed and self-conscious. It’s difficult to let personality and humor shine through when you can’t even look your crush in the eye.
Those who suffer from acne dismiss offhand the possibility of a romantic relationship simply because they feel like no one could ever find them attractive anyway. But it’s worth asking: Do you even put yourself out there in the first place? This matters a lot more than people think.
Meeting new people and engaging with them is the start of every relationship, romantic or otherwise. But if you keep yourself locked at home, there’s a next to null chance you’re going to meet the love of your life. If your eyes are glued to the ground, you might not see the hand extended to you. If you’re put up walls, no one’s going to see the beauty inside them.
Conclusion
If you can relate to one or more of the above, know that you are not alone. It’s unfortunate that the life stage most people experience acne for the first time is the same life stage where their need to fit in is strongest. In a cruel twist of fate, we’re forced to adapt to big changes in our bodies at the time when we become more reliant on connections with our peers.
This is why it is so important to do something about the acne and destructive thought patterns associated with it. Having a healthy social life is crucial to our development into happy adults.
This content is for general information only and is not a substitute for medical advice.
Resources:
Gallitano, S. M., & Berson, D. S. (2017). How Acne Bumps Cause the Blues: The Influence of Acne Vulgaris on Self-Esteem. International journal of women's dermatology, 4(1), 12–17. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ijwd.2017.10.004
Jacqueline Schall, Tanner LeBaron Wallace & Vichet Chhuon (2016) ‘Fitting in’ in high school: how adolescent belonging is influenced by locus of control beliefs, International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 21:4, 462-475, DOI: 10.1080/02673843.2013.866148
Vilar, G. N., Santos, L. A., & Sobral Filho, J. F. (2015). Quality of life, self-esteem and psychosocial factors in adolescents with acne vulgaris. Anais brasileiros de dermatologia, 90(5), 622–629. https://doi.org/10.1590/abd1806-4841.201533726
